Stonecutters
Note the square
and compasses on the Stonecutter Charter.
This secret society is fully the figment of
the imagination of the creators of the cartoon series The Simpsons. In the
episode Homer the Great (episode 2F09, 1995) Homer Simpson joins this
exclusive and secret society and a small fragment of this group is revealed.
The Stonecutters
Lodge
Note the square
and compasses on the wall.
The initiation ceremony consist of several tasks:
1. Leap of Faith (the
blindfolded candidate has to jump from a height of about a foot)
2. Crossing the Desert (the candidate has to walk between to lines of
Stonecutters, everyone paddles his rear end with a bat)
3. The Unblinking Eye (the candidate has to walk between to lines of
Stonecutters, everyone paddles his rear end with a bat)
4. The Wreck of Hesperus (the candidate has to walk between to lines of
Stonecutters, everyone paddles his rear end with a bat)
5. The Paddling of the Swollen Ass ..., with
Paddles (speaks for itself).
After completing these
tasks, the candidate has to give an obligation: “... and by the Sacred
Parchment, I swear that if I reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, may my
stomach become bloated and my hair be plucked of all but three hairs.”
The word of welcome after the initiation is made by Number
One; after that the chairman of the local chapter resumes: “You have joined
the sacred order of the Stonecutters, who, since ancient times, have split the
rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let’s
all get drunk and play ping-pong.”
During the meal the traditional Stonecutters song is sung:
“Who
controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!”
Membership of the Stonecutters is open for sons
of Stonecutters or males who saved the life of a Stonecutter. Members address
each other with their membership number.
The Stonecutters are led by a World Council. The members of this World Council
were in 1995: George Bush Sr., Jack Nicholson, Orville Redenbacher and Mr. T.
To read the script of the Simpson's
Stonecutters episode click on the link below:
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F09.html
